The Phone Call
It was May 21, 2022, around 11:30 pm when I received the worst phone call of my life. The voice on the other end asked me if I had received a call about my son. I immediately closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
My first thought was, "Lord, what did he do now?" I could not stop thinking, "Is he locked up again?" I had already received that call before, so I knew what to expect.
Ebony McClenny with her son Dakarai Malik "Bonk" Baldwin
The Struggle
The past 2 years, my son battled with staying out of trouble. Arrested for possession of drugs and a handgun at just 16 years old. He had begun to head down the wrong path — making bad decisions, hanging around the wrong crowd. He was arrested twice within those 2 years, facing adult charges.
As a mother, you try everything to keep them on the right path. But ultimately, they make their own decisions. Decisions that unfortunately sometimes cost them way more than they can afford to handle.
"As a mother, you try everything to keep them on the right path. But ultimately, they make their own decisions."
The Hospital
That phone call was not about him being arrested. He had been shot multiple times — once in the head. I was very calm for some reason. I remember asking God to keep me strong as I headed to the hospital.
The doctor shared horrible news. My son was fighting for his life. He had very little to no brain activity and all they could do was place him on a life support machine.
Dakarai with family — memories of the boy behind the headlines
Letting Go
After 6 days on life support, my son succumbed to his injuries. His passing came just 1 day before his 18th birthday.
Shock. Disbelief. Anger. Fear. Pain. So many mixed emotions. Grief was different this time, as I prepared to bury my child who lost his life to gun violence.
Ebony McClenny with sons Dakarai and Raymond
"A kid who chose the wrong path. Who chose to hang around the wrong crowd and indulge in negative activities. His decisions ultimately cost him his life. But it doesn't mean we can't help save someone else."
Dakarai Malik "Bonk" BaldwinFrom Grief to Purpose
Losing my son prompted me to want to be a voice for others. A resource. An outlet in the community for those who are impacted by the lifestyle their children choose.
S.O.N. — Surviving Our Neighborhood — was born from that grief. Because if my son's story could reach even one family before it was too late, then his life meant something beyond the tragedy of how he left us.